So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
