I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
