Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
