sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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