The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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