oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
