4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize
