i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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