I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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