Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
