dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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