She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
birth control should be required to get into college
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
