i would punch a child for taco bell
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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