the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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