i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
