Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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