There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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