Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
