Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I am available for nakedness
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
