bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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