does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
operation have a gay friend backfired
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
