and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I am one with the molecules
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
