i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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