I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
