Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We left an ass print on the piano.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
