Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
