We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
