I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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