Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
