is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
