girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
