YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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