If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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