so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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