i permit you to call me
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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