No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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