i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
