I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Girls should come with a carfax report
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
