You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
