I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
