he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
