My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's rum buckets o'clock
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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