I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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