id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
