You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
