Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
