ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
whose parrot is this?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
