I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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