this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
