Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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