And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
