Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
